The Option of Transparency

In a society where everyone likes to be private, and where people build walls so they won't get hurt, I want to bring to the table the option of being transparent.

Transparency means:

1 :  something transparent; especially :  a picture (as on film) viewed by light shining through it or by projection

     2

 :  the quality or state of being transparent

What does that mean in day to day life? What does that mean in relationships? 

I will tell you what it means for me on a day to day basis. 

For me it means to be open in ways that are highest and best good for all. 

When a cashier asks me how is my day is, it is not in the highest and best good for that cashier to let them know that my car broke down and I got fired etc.. (thankfully that has never happened to me!!!)

It is in the highest and best good of the cashier to know that though my day hasn't been the easiest, I know that I have people who support and love me, and that I know I am strong enough to handle it, even when the going gets tough.

It is my desire and wish to be absolutely transparent with my partner, my mate, because I promised him I would never "play fox" be secretive, hold back. When he get's me, he gets all of me. Sometimes this is awesome, sometimes it can be a difficult thing to be honest like this. I have caught myself before holding back, and then I have to pause, go back and say; this is the whole story.

Growing up, I constantly had to "play fox".. If I told my parents the whole story whether good or bad, I would most likely get in trouble. Growing up, my parents did not encourage telling the truth. This is not to say they encouraged me to lie.. but when I would tell them the truth, and it wasn't what they wanted to hear, then I would still get in trouble. It was easiest therefore to hold back some part of the truth and give them what they wanted to hear instead, thus a life long cultivation of holding back.

I know I am not alone in this, and training myself to be transparent has been one of the hardest and most rewarding things I have done, and continue to do. I can truly be myself, clear with my intention, and love it just because I AM the way I AM.

I was recently invited to a woman's group which didn't turn out to be the right fit for me at the time. The woman's group wanted to have absolute confidentiality, you couldn't talk about what went on, situations, or ANYTHING.. This also goes for a men's groups I have heard about. They can't talk about anything to anyone.. including their spouse's even if their spouse's comes up. This to me does not build, to me it divides.. 

I can understand not gossiping, I can understand not using names, I can even understand confidentiality. But what I cannot understand is keeping information that might build and grow each other a "secret". This does not encourage bringing together, this does not encourage being open, and transparent because then you have someone who can't tell you because their group said so.. reminds me of high school and cliques, not something I want to repeat.  

I believe, that the most growth happens when we shift and change and are transparent in a way that is highest and best good for all. 

I am not transparent in a way that would hurt others. I always gauge it by what is highest and best good for all. If it causes harm, I don't do it. I hope others can be encouraged to be as transparent otherwise, how can we see and be seen truly? Instead, let us be one and join together to bring about clear, clean intent, love, peace, and wholesome oneness.