The conversation then steered into different territory, and upon returning home, I remembered what she said and laughed.. The perceptions of people when they view someone who is in an open relationship are highly amusing, because I am here to tell you my friends, being in an open relationship, has been and continues to be one of the must hard and growth changing things that I have ever done. This isn't to say it doesn't have it beauty spots, but I will get to that.
Being in an open relationship challenges you in every way. Jealousy issues, possessive issues, abandonment, needy, clingy, you name it. It will bring up uncomfortable feelings, not knowing where you fit, does he still love me, do I still have worth in their life. Feelings of should I be here, what was I thinking, this hurts to much to work. It will have you sitting out in your car wondering if you should go in, waking up alone in bed while they are in another room, staring off into space while they are in bed chatting.
It will make you get out of your comfort zone, it will force you to value yourself and realize your self worth. It will make you, instead of feeling mopey and insecure, go see a movie by yourself. Going out with friends, chatting, and being awesome instead of sitting there in stagnation, wondering what they are talking about. It will make you value your time with your loved one all the more. I will say that setting a certain time aside to spend with your partner is most important, if you don't connect in sacred space it will eventually fall apart. We put time and effort into where we want to be.
It will open your heart, it will be the best thing that has ever happened to you. It will allow you to be your true self no matter who is around, it will be supportive in ways you wouldn't expect. It allows freedom and requires dedication, and clear communication. It will push you to new adventures, and push you be where you are unsure of the outcome. It has you feeling out of control, and loving life. It will allow the unknowable to be grasped and the love to be felt.
Let me give you some perspective. When I see my man, in the arms of another woman who loves him, and he loves her, it is the warmest and best feeling I have ever felt. When I come home from being in the arms of another, I can tell my man everything that happened and he will want to hear. He will then love me even more by massaging my feet and hands, telling me he loves me. He will assure me against any insecurities that I might have before I voice them.
Open relationship isn't for everyone. AND I am not saying monogamy has the easy road.. I am saying that to really grow and change, be in a relationship that helps you do that. The BEST relationships will challenge the very essence of who you are. They will make you angry, they will make you cry with tears of joy and sorrow. That person will be there for you when your heart breaks, and when it floods with love for everyone. I love my partner with all of my heart, and he loves me with all of his. Why not share that with others? Being in an open relationship has changed my life.. and I wouldn't have it any other way.
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